A friend of mine asked me a question some months back and I quote, “Sommy, when are you going to write a post about me?”
Of course I laughed it off. It was a joke and he wasn’t serious about it anyway.
Now, fast forward to about 6 months later, trying to come up with a post and I remembered that conversation.
I said to myself “Well maybe you should write something about him”.
To keep his identity private, I’ll be referring to him as Labi in this article.
Note: Please pay detailed attention to this write up.
Why is sex such a BIG DEAL?
If women are the gate keepers of sex. Why don’t we charge more for it?
Yeah, you saw that right! Why don’t we as women charge more for sex?
Why can’t we charge marriage? A more committed relationship? A deeper connection than just the physical?
Is it ever late to get a fresh start? Are we ever too old to make a new decision? Is there a time limit to second chances? Is it even necessary to take a bold step and do something new? Besides you’ve been doing it for a really long time, what difference would it make?
It ain’t easy and we all know that. I’ve posted a few helpful tips on things to implement in your life to make your journey of celibacy a little bit easier.
It’d be ignorant to think abstaining from sex will be a breeze and who better to turn to than the One who instructed us to save sex for marriage? We all know God is the master planner right? So if He wants us to wait to have sex after marriage then there must be a reason probably beyond our comprehension for that. Why not trust Him – if you believe and worship him?
So open up your bibles (or read the verses here – as you wish) and let’s dive into these beautiful scriptures.
NOTE: If there’s a bible version you prefer, please feel free to use that instead.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-4
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable. (NIV)
No one likes to talk about it.
Most people don’t believe this even exists.
But as always, I’m here to give you a reality check!
TOPIC: SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DEMONS AKA SPIRITUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES
DEFINITION: A SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISORDER WHEREBY A DEMON DOMINATES AND RESIDES IN AN INDIVIDUAL AS A RESULT OF THAT INDIVIDUAL HAVING SEX WITH A DEMON CARRYING INDIVIDUAL(S).
PREVENTION: ABSTAINING FROM PREMATURE SEX
TREATMENT: A COVENANT STRONGER THAN THAT OF THE COVENANT OF SEX.
Ever started your journey and then made a mistake? Got tempted and gave in? Felt like it was the right thing to do at that moment? And now you feel like you have to start all over again?
Worry no more, I’m here to help.
Now, have a brief reflection on how it all went down – don’t go too far – just a brief reflection. What transpired before everything went south? Did you just watch a racy movie together? Had a few too many drinks? Cuddled a little too much?
We have to realize that sex doesn’t just happen. It takes series of events to lead up to that moment. Those series of events are what you should avoid.
So you’ve been waiting for so long and it seems like nothing is happening.
The lady or man of your dreams hasn’t found you yet.
Nothing seems to be progressing.
The loneliness keeps creeping in.
And you ask yourself, “Is the wait worth it?”
Hey guys! Hope ya’ll are doing great? Been a minute right? Was occupied for a while, but I’m back and ready to keep blowing your minds away!!!
No need for a long intro right? Let’s dive in 😚
I promised you guys I’ll post more beautiful and inspiring stories, I was extremely inspired by the previous stories and these are no different. Enjoy.
In my 3rd year in medical school, I told a guy I haven’t had sex before and he asked me; “Are you sure you’re complete? It’s so sweet, you should do it. If I don’t have sex in a week then there’s a big issue”.
Sometimes people mocked, laughed at and called me names and made me feel bad about not being sexually active, you have to realize that the pressure from people and the urge to explore your sexual feelings will always there , and it’s tough not to give in to that, and that’s why having a reason for doing what you do is important.
Some ladies also disregarded me because I have no sexual experience but I always keep in mind that I do what I do, for the greater good.
I’m proud of myself because I don’t sleep around, I don’t spend unnecessarily – trying to please a lady to get her in bed – I’m also responsible.
Do what is right! Anything you can’t say out, or be proud of talking about it, is not right.
The difference between not having sex and having sex is; You think about it, want it and have it and not having sex is; think about it, want it and not have it. Both are choices you have to make.
There are a lot of things you can do to take your mind off the thought, like going to the gym, pick up your phone and “call someone”, listen to some music, read, walk and hang out with friends, if they are of the opposite sex and you are not comfortable or think you might be tempted, I recommend public places like parks or a cafe.
This might sound weird but one of the reasons I’m not having sex is because I am helping others, for example; if a lady gets pregnant, I don’t suffer any consequences but she does, like drawing back from school, having to get an abortion…you know what ladies in that situation go through.
Having sex is not like the feeling of hunger, whereby, if you don’t eat, the feeling aggregates, with sex, the desire will definitely fade away even if the desire comes back, understand it’s normal, just like hunger, you still feel hungry.
Finally, If you are considering being celibate, it should be your choice. I’M SERIOUS.
So about my celibacy journey, I used to live life on the fast lane but I had to calm down, not because it did not fit me but because I actually wanted to focus on the spiritual than the physical.
I was listening to pastor Sam Adeyemi one day and he talked about the covenant that takes place during sex and how blood is involved and it made a whole lot of sense to me, being a christian (church going) medical student😊.
Sincerely speaking, it wasn’t the easiest decision to make back then because it looked like sex was the norm so I never mentioned it to anyone as I wanted to try myself if I could stand faithful. As I took my walk with God more passionately, I stood stronger and got to know a major code (fleeing). You must flee!
As for my benefits:
- I cant be called cheap by any lady.
- Restored for wifey😂😂
- It made me realize that anything could be achieved with a measure of determination.
– Dr. Niyi,Ukraine.
For me what pushes me to abstain from sex is the Word of God which says to stay away from fornication and also avoiding being in a relationship for too long, when you are in a relationship for long you will be tempted to fall into that temptation.
It’s not easy to abstain from sex once you’re in a relationship and that is why it is imperative that you be in a relationship with someone who has the same beliefs as you do, so together you both can talk about how to manage your relationship.
As for my benefits, spiritual things are more important to me now and in 1 Corinthians 7: 32-34 Paul stated that “he who is unmarried is careful for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord but he that is married is careful for the things of the world, how he may please his wife…..”
In the above verse, unmarried can easily be translated to celibate because an unmarried person has no business having sex. So I am definitely more dedicated to the matters of the Lord.
I was 11 years old when I made a commitment to remain celibate till marriage. It was a pact I made with some friends in school and while they may have been joking about it, I took it seriously as that decision was born out of my own personal values and morals. Of course that at time, I didn’t know the responsibilities that came with such a commitment..
Years later I became a Christian, and I realized that God was against premarital sex and that reinforced my commitment to celibacy.
You see, I learnt early enough that:
- Sex is a line that when crossed, I can’t go back
- Sexual purity comes at a cost (or better still, with some responsibilities). (I’ve had to consciously remove myself from compromising situations irrespective of how enticing it may be. I’ve had to create some distance with “friends” who don’t share the same values. I’ve had to endure mockery/slander by people I called friends, I’ve consciously removed movies, music and any other thing that may fill my mind with sexual thoughts 💭….). And it’s all WORTH it, because what I “lost” is in no way comparable to the peace and fulfillment that comes from being chaste.
- Sex is very spiritual. Thus, it shouldn’t be trivialized. I’d be lying if I say I haven’t had close calls, but I’ve learnt to say “NO” when my raging hormones say “GO”.
Romans 12:2 says “….Be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” Because we live in a highly sexual world, I’ve learnt to deliberately and consistently renew my mind with God’s word when the things I see, hear (consciously or unconsciously) threatens to consume my mind with sexually explicit thoughts via movies, music and what have you.
And I’m better for it. I’ve grown as a woman, as a Christian and as a human being. I spend more time on personal, spiritual and career development. I’m surrounded by a circle of saved friends equally committed to excellence! I cannot settle for less.
Sex is definitely worth waiting for.
I can wait and I choose to wait. #CelibacyLife
– Dr Nitadz, Nigeria.
So beautiful! I really hope you were inspired by these stories. Here are a few take-outs:
- You have to learn to say No when your raging hormones are screaming YES.
- It won’t be easy but you have to constantly remind your self of the reason you started in the first place.
- Anything you wouldn’t be proud of talking about is something you shouldn’t be doing.
WOW! I feel like reading more stories!!! Do you? If you’d like more stories, let me know. DO share some of your take-outs from the stories, if anything stood out for you, let us know.
Thank you so much for reading. Don’t forget to LIKE, SHARE AND SUBSCRIBE to my blog.
Hey lovelies, How are you all doing?
I know this is coming late, but, better late than never right?
HAPPY EASTER!! I had a beautiful Easter celebration in church. You do realize that the death and resurrection of Christ is the bedrock of Christianity yeah? Because without His death and most importantly His resurrection, we wouldn’t have the life we have now “…..I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly. (John 10:10)”
So, be full of joy and peace because He has won the victory for YOU!